Bad Day, or This is What Burnout Looks Like

I wrote this post several days/weeks ago, but didn't post it because it was just too raw. I realized today, though, that I'm experiencing burnout; I think I acutally hit the burnout point about 10 months ago, but only now am I able to actually identify and articulate the problem. More on that in another post. For now, I'll just let the words speak for themselves.

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Dear Blog,

I had a bad teaching day today. One of my classes is driving me crazy, so much so that I actually thought about shaking a student. I was really frustrated at their obvious apathy.

I have to tell them to take out their notebooks and tell them when they need to write something down. In a writing class. I have to constantly pull answers from them. I find myself having to talk over them constantly as some of them tend to have little side snide conversations while I'm explaining something or answering someone else's question. They really are little s&#ts.

I know that I've created this problem; I won't indulge in that exercise of self-reflection right now because for once I want to just experience this absolute sense of hopelessness and helplessness that I feel in this class. I know that I've spoken to other teachers about this feeling, but I've never really felt it myself. I'm just amazed at how awful it is. I don't think I've ever hated a class in my career; this one may just put me over the edge.

With semi-righteous indignation,
fulgora